Richard Nixon
From Wikiality
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Richard Millhouse Van Houten Nixon was the first Holy Roman Emperor of the United States, serving from 1969 to 1974. Nixon is famously known for single-handedly winning the Vietnam War and retiring as a Great American Hero at the top of his game.
[edit] Early Life
Richard Nixon was born to homsexuals Adolf nixon hitler and Charles Manson who conceived him using the frozen sperm of Buddah and a turkey baster. He was raised as an evangelical Quaker, and throughout his life he would pray five times a day to the Quaker Oats Man, dick cheney.
In 1926, Nixon attended ITT Technical Institute on a full athletics scholarship (flag twirling). While there, he became known for being a master debater and for having extremely hairy palms. He also ran for student body president, but was defeated after it was revealed he bugged the dorm rooms of his opponents . Nixon learned his lesson and would never do that again, because he wasn't a crook.
[edit] Fun Facts
- Being Nixonish is second only to being Lincolnish.
- People dress like him on Halloween, but we aren't sure why.
- He once wandered the streets of Washington, D.C., naked, armed only with a bottle of moonshine and a meat hammer, striking down godless hippies and bears alike
- Had an awesome dog named Checkers.
- Resigned from the presidency because he thought America deserved a Republican as great as Gerald Ford.
- He earned everything he got, according to him.
- He is definitely not a crook despite what the left wing conspiracy has said; if he said he's not a crook nixo-facto he's not a crook.
- He is totally not racist, and totally not anti-semitic.
