Masturbating Bear
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when you touch yourself you make The Baby Jesus sad!
Keep your hands where we can see them!
A terrible fiend of a bear, the Masturbating Bear breaks into late night talk shows, most notably that of Conan O'Brien.
The Masturbating Bear spreads the idea that masturbation is OK, along with other liberal myths. Conan has frequently tried to escape from the bear, but to not avail. For example, when his show moved to Chicago, he left the bear in New York. Unfortunately, it knew how to drive a plane.
It should be clear to note that although the Masturbating Bear wears a diaper, he is not a Diaper Achiever.
WARNING: Ursine seminal fluid has been proven toxic to humans. Stay the hell away from this bear's path, at least 20, no, 30 yards away.
See Also
| THE WIKIALITY.COM GUIDE TO BEARS |
 Bears
|
| Ursa | Winnie The Pooh | Yogi Bear | Colbear | Smokey The Bear |
| Polar bears | Pizzly | Polar Grizzly | Koala | Panda Bear | Bats |
| Vampbear | BearSharks | Bipolar Bear | Care Bears | Roller bear |
| Bear baiting | Bear is driving | Bearism | Great Bear Incident | The Left Wing Madness |
