Baseball
From Wikiality
The official summer sport of America. (America's winter sport of course is Junior League hockey)
Baseball is the greatest sport every conceived by man, which of course was in turn conceived by God, making baseball the holiest form of competition. The sport involves bags, balls, bags of balls, gloves, bats, hats, dirt, and usually some grass. The object of the game is to win by outsmarting your opponents or through sheer force of will.
Baseball was first played in America in the 1800's by settlers on the frontier. They had run out of ammunition for their rifles and were attacked by a soulless group of wild Bears seeking a blood-thirsty revenge for their loss at the Battle of the Ass-less Chaps earlier that year. The settlers used wooden bats to defeat the horde of Godless killing machines and gain their independence from Canada. After defeating the bears, the surviving settlers gathered around and invented baseball.
Baseball has a lot of rules and requires a lifetime of dedication and law school education and some politics to play effectively.
The greatest baseball player of all time is Mr. Met. Although Mr. Met has never actually played a game he remains the Most Patriotic Player ever as indicted by his giant Ball head. There is no doubt this mascot has large balls.
Blue Teams
- Washington Nationals - a team that sucks thanks to the liberal Jews that run all sports.
- Houston Astros - no problems here.
- Texas Rangers - true men in uniform
- Boston Red Sox- the tubbies who are the worst team in the history of any sport
- Chicago Cubs - difficult to root for a loser
Red Teams
- The Giants harbor the world's most evil, vile, cheating, ugly, communist player, Barry Bonds. Barry Bonds is romantically involved with Andy Dick and is a known bear sympathizer.
- Chicago Cubs the greatest team over the last three-hundred years.
- The Cleveland Injuns, who are racists.
